Report on the Bali Conference:
Varieties of Dissociation

Herb Rabin and Judith Rustin

We are pleased to be asked to report on the Dissociation Conference held in Ubud, Bali, January 2006. In summary, for us, reasonably intrepid travelers, it was a truly "once in a lifetime experience!" Throughout the four days of the Conference and since our return home, this sentiment has been echoed and amplified by each conference participant with whom we've talked.

Time wise, our experience was reversed from that of most of the conference participants. Because of professional commitments we left Bali immediately following the conference, but arrived a week before its start. We began our Bali immersion at the serenely, exquisite Alila Manggis, sister hotel of the Alila Ubud, the conference hotel. Arriving from a two day stay in Taipei, Tawain, a grey and dreary city, we were immediately transformed in "state" by the translucent light of Bali shimmering through the sky, creating a sense of wonder and beauty. The advertising propaganda was true. Bali seemed like a worldly paradise! At the Alila Manggis, located on the moderately underdeveloped east coast of Bali our altered state of consciousness was cemented by the understated responsiveness of the staff of this five star hotel and the ancient Hindu spirituality that permeates place and person. We spent the first two days soaking up a quiet, calm serenity after a very long trip and, as for most of us, a hectic professional life.

By the end of the second day we were ready to venture forth from this relaxed cocoon and immerse ourselves in the local color of this third world country. We ventured out by signing up for interesting treks. Our first trek meant getting up at 4:30 AM to climb a mountain to greet the sunrise. The trek involved passage through the monkey temple; we were adorned by our guide with sari and sash in order that we might pass through the temple. This was the beginning of our education on temples, respect and obeisance to the Gods and a beginning taste of the ancient Hindu philosophy. Once through the monkey temple we were immediately surrounded by monkeys, who followed us through the rest of the trek. It was a rigorous climb in that it was an almost vertical climb uphill, albeit on wide steps. One of us (Judith) did not think she would make it; she did. And the view at the top, watching the sun rise over the Indian Ocean, even on a cloudy day was magnificent. It whetted our appetites for more.

Therefore, we let ourselves be talked into a trek for the next day by the guide who assured us that the climb was not as steep and would end in the ancient village of Tanganana, known for a unique double weaving process of fabric famous throughout the world. The guide neglected to tell us that although the climb up was more gentle, the pathways up were extremely narrow surrounded by deep irrigation ditches on either side. In addition, we would need to cross brooks and rivulets on narrow, low slung bridges made of bamboo and that the descent down to the ancient village was a very steep, long narrow path covered with wet stones. We learned the true meaning of the word trek (arduous), not to be confused with hike! Herb fell twice, slightly injuring his arm but more so his physical pride. Our guide was sensitive and helped him navigate the descent. Judith's good balance based upon years of ballet training enabled her to traverse the descent and rocks without falling. The one hour descent was exhausting but the exposure to the real life of the Balinese was indeed fascinating and once safe and sound back at the hotel, ultimately worth all the hard work. Trekking through the rice fields, we were again mesmerized by the beauty of the light as it was reflected in the green of the abundant rice fields. The interplay of blue (sky) and green (rice fields) was breathtakingly exquisite. We observed the communal nature of this society, for example, the co-operation on irrigation so that it occurs in a step down fashion, i.e. those furthest from the water source get it first and so on up the mountain. We watched the Balinese women work in almost perfect synchrony beating the rice stalks to release the grains. We were privy to a young family bathing naked in the river while washing their clothes and we saw men and women lovingly washing their cows in the river "to keep them fresh"; this was a powerful reminder that cows are sacred in a Hindu society.

On this trek we also had the first hints that all is NOT wonderful in paradise. For example, we realized we had been talked into this trek by our guide partly out of his desperation for our business. This sense of hunger and depression triggered by the downturn in tourism became clearer as we shopped in the local town of Candidasa. We learned from our various guides that the economy, so dependent on the tourist industry had been recovering from the 2002 bombings; the second bombing in October, 2005, demolished the recovery, sending the economy plummeting. We felt deeply for this gentle peace loving people essentially victimized by terrorists. When we moved to the Alila Ubud for the conference (Ubud being the center of tourism in Bali) the economic downturn and its impact on the people became even more apparent. Despite the undercurrent of economic hunger and depression, the "face" of the people remained loving, helpful and beyond gracious.

We gladly did our parts to help the local economy and ourselves in the process. Bali is both a physical and shopper's paradise. Beautiful, handmade items abound at a fraction the cost in the U.S. We, as did many of our colleagues, hired an Alila concierge who took us to top quality studios where we were able to both see the craftsmen at work and purchase unique and authentic items, by our standards at significantly reduced prices.

The conference began with a welcome dinner and a presentation by Rucina Ballinger, a published ethnologist, an American married with children, living in Bali with her Balinese husband. Her presentation focused on the balance of harmony within the culture, which she personally ascribes to with her family while at the same time maintaining an upfront dose of skepticism. This open tension between the fundamentally different and seemingly incompatible life philosophies (East and West) captured our own sense of uncertainty about "the correctness of one's life view" and forced us to confront some of our own unquestioned belief systems. For example, she focused on the use of healers who employ controlled methods of dissociation to treat individual and social ills with beneficial effects. From what we had seen, with the exception of the economic desperation due to contextual circumstances, the Balinese people seemed pretty content.

Similarly, hearing from Luh Ketut Suryani, M.D. a Balinese Psychiatrist educated in the U.S., as to how she works with a patient, using the importance of forgiveness to foster re-connection and working with patients in their larger tribal groups provided a window into a radically different view of therapeutic action and the working through process.

The papers presented were all very interesting, but more importantly unusually well paired. Each unit, morning and afternoon was organized around a specific theme. Obviously dissociation was the overarching theme, but the first papers dealt with dissociation in the patients' experience, the second morning was organized around dissociation expressed in specific symptoms, i.e. Anorexia/ Bulimia, Hair-pulling and Addictions. The third day was organized around the Analyst's response to the patient and its impact on the treatment, followed by the "forgetting" of the power elite in Institutions, so that their dissociated responses allow them to perpetuate the same mini trauma on those who follow. The last afternoon was organized around working with dreams and dissociated patients.

Attendance of participants at all sessions was very high. And, whether it was the quality of the papers, the fact that we were a shared sub group within this very strange culture or some other inexplicable factor, over the three days, the conference took on the "feel" of an on-going seminar. Interchanges with the presenter were lively and engaging and increasingly, the group participants became more open and interactive with each other.

The closing banquet, held at an amazing complex organized to protect the Balinese environment was a fitting close to the conference. The accommodations were beautiful, the food delicious, the hostess gracious and generous and the Balinese dancing provided a full taste of the local culture and color. We were sorry to have missed the post conference tours to see "a healer" in action and to have high tea with the priest. All reports from colleagues (see Addendum) reveal these were unusual and special experiences arranged by Meghan Pappenheim who now makes Bali her home.

Finally, it is always impossible to specifically delineate what makes an experience "special." The whole is usually greater than the sum of its parts. But, there is no doubt that Harriet Pappenheim and her daughter Meghan can be singled out as the catalysts that helped shape the experience in such a positive direction for all. Harriet introduced each paper, orchestrated the discussion and despite working every moment, maintained good humor throughout. Meghan, unflappable, seamlessly attended to everyone's travel needs and provided access to the special experiences that gave us that extra taste of Balinese culture, up close and personal. We thank them both for all their efforts. And, from all the feedback we've gotten from other conference participants, we think our thanks to them echo the sentiment of the group.

ADDENDUM: The Friday Post-Conference Tour, by Beth Meehan

Our enchanting post-conference tour was arranged by Meghan Pappenheim. First we had lunch at the Royal Compound in Tabanan with the charming 76-year-old king of the region. We were treated to Balinese dancing accompanied by traditional gamelan music. Next we met with spiritual healers whom the king had invited for the occasion. We learned about mental health treatment in Bali and how mental illness is understood as a spiritual disease. When someone in the (extended family) compound becomes ill they assess that something in the compound is not spiritually right. Spiritual practices are examined. If addressing spiritual practice fails to heal the individual person a healer may be consulted. Only in the case of very severe, socially disruptive behavior is a person brought to the mental hospital in Bengli. Our tour guides and the healers insisted that most of the time disturbed behavior is resolved by traditional means.

After an excellent Balinese lunch, for which a suckling pig was roasted, we drove to Taman Sari Bali Cottages, a cultural community and eco-tourism center. Village dancers greeted us. They were beautiful girls, 6-12 years old, wearing traditional dress, strewing rose petals in our path, and performing traditional dances.

In this enchanting spot, with rice terraces behind us the experience was almost surreal. After high tea we witnessed a healing ceremony. We chose a medically ill person to be the subject. The healing ritual involved channeling by the family member who was deemed the most spiritual. I was impressed by how the holy woman physically expressed symptoms that I knew to be associated with the patient's illness. She did this even though the symptoms were not readily observable. Having a wish for faith, I found the Balinese culture to be both beautiful and haunting. All of us, including those who maintain their "western skepticism," were profoundly touched by these gentle, open, people who conduct their everyday lives with such enormous integrity.

Top of this Page      Newsletter Front Page